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巧用妙句——让新托福写作华丽转身

时间:2012-02-22 14:39来源:朗阁小编作者:sailor
        单调而枯燥的语句在写作中总是不容易获得,尤其是在新托福这类出国类考试中。如何写出具有层次感和节奏感的出彩作文呢?英语句子的结构可以千变万化,今天南京朗阁讲师将结合多年的教学经验,为考生讲述:如何运用技巧写出一篇极具亮点的好作文。

        一变短句为长句
        短句充斥着新托福的写作考试,尤其中国考生特别喜欢和容易使用短句来应试,但新托福的写作要求句型要有一定的复杂性。因此,在这种情况下,考生就不得不需要对某些短句进行拉长,借此来向阅卷者展示自己对于复杂语言结构的掌控能力。
                            名词+形容词+同位语+定语从句
                             短句拉长的心法{
                             动词+状语(时间,地点,目的,方式等)
 
        接下来我们就来具体看几个例子:
1.    Governments have built new roads.
短句拉长步骤:
1). 在句首加上时间状语in the past two years;
2). 在名词governments前面加上responsible等形容词来修饰它;
3). 在名词roads后面加上定语从句which have brought much convenience to the local citizens.
变化后的句子为:
In the past two years, responsible governments have built a great number of new roads which have brought much convenience to the local citizens.
 
2.    Factories have discharged gases and liquids.
短句拉长步骤:
1). 在名词factories前面加上两个形容词newly-built和chemical
2). 在名词gases and liquids后面加上一个定语从句which have had a seriously negative impact on the surrounding environment.
变化后的句子为:
        The newly-built chemical factories have discharged harmful and even poisonous gases and liquids which have had a seriously negative impact on the surrounding environment.
 
        二变非主语成分开头的句子
        多使用非主语成分开头的句子不但能使写作句式多样化,而且也能有效地向阅卷者展示考生的写作技能。比如:
1.    动名词:Cheating on tests repeatedly invites self-defeat.
2.    过去分词:Forgotten on the desk was her favorite i-phone.
3.    名词性从句:What was needed in reality was not taught in school.
4.    代词:Such is the case when a new policy is made.
5.    介词:From the shortage arises the demand for nuclear power as a new source of energy.
6.    副词:Too often, students are forced to cheat on tests.
7.    形容词:Basic to any understanding of Japan after World War II is its impressive population’s growth.
        理解了以上技巧后,对于同一句话,我们就能变化出很多不同的写法。比如,对上面的个句子,我们可以用以下的不同方式来表达:
1)         What invites self-defeat is cheating on tests repeatedly.
2)         To cheat on tests repeatedly is to invite self-defeat.
3)         Repeated cheating on tests invites self-defeat.
4)         It is repeated cheating on tests that invites self-defeat.
5)         Whoever cheats on tests is to invite self-defeat.
 
        三变“一主二仆”式定语从句
       一主二仆式定语从句是指一个先行词带有两个或两个以上定语从句的情况。该结构中的定语从句比较规范,均修饰一个先行词,归纳下来有如下几种情况:
1. 作定语:可以把两个定语从句看成并列的定语,也可当作分开的定语修饰先行词,或分别修饰重复的先行词。
… and the old ways of earning a living rivaled by new agricultural techniques, by commerce with hitherto unknown parts of the globe, and by new crafts with strange machines that saved labor and that ran without the traditional human or animal power
……古老的谋生之道正受到新的农业技术、新的贸易、新的行业的挑战;这种新贸易是与世界上一向无人知晓的地区进行的贸易,而种种新行业则是使用一些无需传统的人力畜力驱动、可节省劳动力的奇特的机器。(并列的定语)
 
Almost everything which really matters and which the world possessed at the commencement of the modern age was already known to man at the dawn of history.
近代史开始时,世界拥有的每一项重大成就,已为历史发端期的人们所知晓。(分开的定语)
 
And it helps to explain why so many inventions that were of Chinese origin or that had been known to the Greco-Romans, were fully developed and exploited only by the Western Europeans.
它有助于说明,为什么发源于中国的许多发明和希腊罗马人所知道的许多发明,只是在西欧人手中才得到全面发展和充分利用。(分开的定语修饰重复的先行词)
 
2. 并列句:可以把两个定语从句简单地看成一个并列句,也可以把它们拆成两个分开的并列句,用来表示并列、转折或先后顺序等关系:
Consequently the manor was a self-sufficient village that was worked by serfs who were not free to leave, and who with their labor supported a hierarchy of lay and clerical lords.
因而,采邑是靠农奴经营的自给自足的村庄;农奴不能随便离开,并以其劳动养活教俗封建集团。(一个并列句)
 
Not surprisingly, the most complex political structures appeared in the Sudan, where long distance trade was most highly developed and where Islamic influence was the strongest.
毫不奇怪,苏丹出现了 复杂的政治组织,在那里,长途贸易发展得 快,伊斯兰教的影响 为强烈。(两个并列句)
 
Our aim is to establish in Ghana a strong and progressive society …where poverty and illiteracy no longer exist and disease is brought under control;and where our educational facilities provide all the children of Ghana with the best possible opportunities for the development of their potentialities.
我们的目的是在加纳建立一个强大、进步的社会……在这里,贫困和文盲不再存在,疾病得到控制;在这里,我们的教育机构为加纳所有的孩子提供发展他们潜力的 好机会。(两个并列句,表示并列关系)
 
This hope was nurtured by the great victories won by Genghis Khan's grandson, Hulagu, who was a Buddhist, and whose wife was a Christian.
成吉思汗的孙子旭烈兀所取得的伟大胜利,助长了这一希望。旭烈兀是个佛教徒,而他的妻子是基督教徒。(两个并列句,表示转折关系)
 
         四变句式的多样性
        单一的句式,有时候虽然也能勉强表达出作者的思路,但读起来不免令人乏味。为了增强文章的趣味性,朗阁海外考试研究中心建议考生还应该注意句式多样性的变化:
1. Berlin states that both positions harbor the same fallacy.
这句话平铺直叙,但是假如我们使用插入语的话就会使其生动得多。比如:
       Both positions, ironically enough, as Berlin points out, harbor the same fallacy.
 
2. Teenagers are pressured by schoolwork. They are encouraged by their peers. They have to resort to smoking like adults. But sometimes they feel a little guilty.
虽然这四个简单句都能围绕一个主题,但是给人的印象是作者的思路很乱。其实我们可以用一个长句来把这个问题说得很清楚:
   Teenagers, pressured by schoolwork and encouraged by their peers, often resort to smoking like adults, though they feel a little guilty.
 
3.    Some people succeed. Other people fail. The difference is not the number of opportunities. It is whether they can take advantage of opportunities. Opportunities will arise in the course of one’s life, though they are rare.
上面这段话由5个简单句组成,结构上显得不够紧凑。我们可以通过把简单句合并成复杂句的方式(运用定语从句,同位语从句,插入语等),把这5个句子有机地结合起来。如下所示:
One essential difference between those who succeed and those who fail is the extent to which they take advantage of opportunities, rather than the total number of opportunities, which will inevitably arise, if rarely, in the course of one’s life.
 
4.    College students now are primarily interested in grades and economic success. They are expected to cheat more frequently. They are unlike those graduated ten years ago. They are only interested in their own personal future and consider little the problems of society.
上面这段话读起来令人乏味,但若运用定语从句以及插入语对其改写,就会让人回味无穷。如下所示:
College students, primarily interested in grades and economic success, are expected to cheat more frequently than those who graduated ten years ago, and are far less concerned with the with the problems of society than with their own personal future.
 
5.    Energy is much needed now. And nuclear plants are clean and economical. They can produce vast amounts of energy. But people, especially local residents are very concerned about safety. They hold a strong negative attitude toward them.
上面这段话读起来有点零乱。我们可以用插入语,因果关系和定语从句的形式,把简单句合并成复杂句。如下所示:
Nuclear plants are a clean and economical way of producing vast amounts of much-needed energy, though people, especially local residents, who are very concerned about safety, hold a strong negative attitude toward them.
(责任编辑:sailor)

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